Merry

CHRISTMAS! Hope everybody had wonderful holiday! I always think Christmas is slightly bittersweet. I mean your with your family and get a bunch of awesome presents, but it also marks the end of all that preparation for the holiday. Maybe I just need to learn how to live and love the present....

I've been hit with an array of blog ideas recently and I want to spread them out over seperate posts rather than pour them all into your lap at once, but I'm really having a tough time figuring out what I should rant about - maybe I'll just pick an idea out of a hat.

Imagine this. You're sleeping in your hotel room. You wake up to the shrill telephone ringing. You pick it up, still half asleep. It's the manager of the hotel.
"Maam/Sir, I need you to pay attention to me. There's been a gas leak and you need to put some wet towels beneath your door."
You do what the hotel manager says, still confused about whether you're dreaming or not.
"You need to unplug all electronics and break open a window," the manager orders.
You think twice about this. Break open a window? But then a fire marshal joins in on your call and confirms that you must break a window.
You're getting scared now. A gas leak? Will you be safe? Should you just run outside?
But then you hear a chuckle on the line.
And. Then. You. Know.
You've just been pranked by the biggest douchebag in North America. Tariq Malik, the founder of pranknet.
Worse yet, pranked by a man who still lives with his mom.



I don't know whether to complain about how stupid these people are or about how absolutely insane they are! Bitches are trippin'! Disgusting too! You see, this whole organization, "Pranknet", spends their days on Skype terrorizing poor hotel guests and fast food employees into humiliating themselves. See that ugly ass bitch to the right? That's him! Tariq Malik is the man behind this madness! This dumbass thought his Skype was untraceable! HAHAAA! THE SMOKING GUN EXPOSED THIS MOTHAFUCKER AND SENT SOME REPORTERS TO HIS (MAMA'S) HOUSE! He then hid in the back with his mother and guess what he did? Called the police! This bitch is helllla dumb! It's unfortunate that the hotels and fast food restaurants aren't aggresively going after this guy and his little team of hoodlums!

But Malik is no one-man-team! Oh nonono! This little group is filled with hella bitches and hoes! To the left is James Tyler Markle, an avid Twilight fan that hangs out at the local gay bar in his small Texas town, yet uses an array of offensive homophobic slurs while pranking his victims! Not only that! The monster molested a 5 year old girl! OH HELL TO THE NO! That is just horrible! Uh-uhh! Doin' too much! This creep also 'pranked' a hotel worker to drink the urine of another guest. Yes, the hotel worker must have been a bit on the slow side to not know what urine smells like, but WHO THE FUCK THINKS OF DOING THAT TO OTHER PEOPLE!? Bitch is trippin'!


The last crazy ass bitch I'mma rant about it Shawn Powell, another nasty pedophile! He was put in jail for taking pictures of a younger naked relative. The nasty...Powell pranked his own mother, posing as a police detective, Powell tricked his mother into thinking that her name was found in the pocket of a murder victim and sent her to the police department for further questioning. AHHH. Dumbass bitches.



So. I'm not sure if people think this is funny because the people that are getting pranked are pretty stupid themselves, or if they feel it's horrible. What do you think?


Here's The Smoking Gun's report.